You have probably been wondering where I have been. Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that on the day of my last post my husband moved out, and we are now in the progress of getting a divorce. It has become clear since then that he was seeing someone else at the time he moved out (although he still won’t admit it). The good news is that I am happy to be moving on with my life, we are still friends, and I have still been able to slowly but surely lose weight. I am currently at 185.6. I wasn’t sure when I logged in if I would be up or down. I have been trying to be good from an eating perspective, but it has been very difficult to get into an exercise routine since everything changed. I have finally gotten into a routine which I know is critical to losing weight and staying healthy. I am determined to continue on my journey and reach my goal. I have started looking at online dating sites. I realize that most men want someone slim/slender, and I know I can reach that goal not for a man but for me. I hope you will read and comment on my blog to help keep me motivated. I came back because I got some comments on some old posts and I really really appreciate your support.
This past couple weeks I was feeling pretty down. Then something sparked my motivation again. A co-worker jokingly referred to me as “kind of chunky” in front of a group of people. I was traveling at the time, and went back to my room and cried for a couple of hours. I didn’t want to go into work the next day. I was hurt and upset. Now I am just motivated.  Since then, I have managed to go from being able to squeeze into a Size 12 to fitting very comfortably in  a Size 12.  Only two more clothes sizes to go to reach my goal.  I am never going to be called chunky again, that’s for sure. I hope you can help me stay on track so I can feel better about myself and never have to feel that type of embarassment as the victim of teasing about my weight ever again.

My goal right now is to exercise first thing in the morning at least five times per week. I do this on my rowing maching because it is efficient and I can’t have any excuses. Even if it makes me late for work, I must do it. I know that regular cardio is critical to keeping my body from slowing down its metabolism and to continue weight loss.

Studies have shown that people who have written goals are significantly more successful at attaining those goals. I personally think it is critical not just to write down your goals but also your motivations and what you will lose if you don’t achieve those goals. I will share mine, and I hope that you will share your goals and motivations in the comments section or in your personal journal. As Nike says, “Just Do it”.

Personal Goal: To lose 50 pounds over the next six months by making many small changes in my lifestyle by cutting out the “crap” and adding more “zap”.

Motivations:

- prove to myself that I am important enough to make my personal mission a top priority

- improve my health and reduce my risks for heart disease, diabetes and other problems (my Mom has diabetes)

- increase my energy and be a great example for my kids

- be able to focus on living my life rather than obsessing over weight loss and the baggage that goes with it

- be able to wear whatever I want and do whatever I want and be whoever I want

- be a happier, healthier person and help others to do the same

What Happens If I Don’t Reach This Goal:

- continuing to put my health at risk by being overweight

- continuing to overeat and then be consumed by feelings of guilt

- continuing to eat junk food which leaves me tired and irritable

- continuing to feel limited by my “fatness” and lack of overall energy

- continuing to inflict the negativity that comes from all of the above on people I care a lot about

This year is going to be different. I can feel it. I am on a mission. I am going to stop making excuses and just cut the crap. I am going to make a focused effort to add more zap. I don’t know how I got to where I am today, but I know that I am destined to find myself and take my life back. I hope that you will join me on my mission, because although I am determined, I cannot do it alone. I am here to ask for your help - to share with me, support me, and join me on this mission. Even if you do not need to lose pounds, I am sure you have some things in your life that need to go. I am not on a mission for perfection, but rather a mission towards a simpler, better life by making many small but well considered changes.